"My coming out." - Petra

My coming out. You’re so athletic, you’re creative, you’re social, you’re spontaneous, you’re a good mum, you do so much… etcetera, etcetera.

But this woman also conceals the ‘autism’secret. Why is it a secret, you will probably ask? Because it only really manifests itself within our four walls.

The meltdowns, the rigid (thinking) patterns, the non-social person, the fixed routines and structures, the crying fits, the extreme fatigue, the negative thoughts, the physical complaints… and that’s only a small part of it.

Outside our four walls I’m the woman described in the first paragraph, and it has taken me far. But it’s exhausting!

But how confused am I still, after my diagnosis, which I got almost a year ago. Who am I now? It’s one of those questions you will often hear among people with ASD. Every day I struggle with this, including the acceptance process.

Were the therapists right? Have they properly done their research? Haven't I fooled them because I already knew so much beforehand? Isn't it a 'hype' these days? Yet, this is the only diagnosis where I feel 'at home' after many misdiagnoses.

My name is Petra, I’m 37 years old, I’m married and I have two children, and this is my coming out!

So, for anyone who’s still at the same stage as me...

It's OK to not be perfect all the time!

(Small side note: it’s still a long learning process for me, but where there’s a will...)