"Not understanding yourself and the world." - Lisa

My name is Lisa, I’m 31 years old and I’m an all-round creative person. I create, write, want to know and understand everything, often want too much which makes that all the possibilities can overwhelm me and nothing more will come out anymore. Phone off, internet off, rest and my dearest friend nature and especially the sea. Recently I discovered the bass guitar, that brings peace to my head with its heavy, vibrating notes.

In March 2021 I got diagnosed with ASD and ADHD after getting stuck many times. Not understanding yourself and the world, but wanting to belong, because that’s how it is supposed to be. Or at least, that’s how it felt to me. This culminated in July 2020. I am grateful to the person who told me I might be autistic, because after all these years, this has allowed me to understand myself, be myself and not have to prove myself with things I see other people achieving so easily. I know that the impact before my diagnosis was huge, that oppressive situations were not uncommon and that my limits were far from being reached. I still have to experience the impact for after my diagnosis, to give it a place and now I feel I can breathe and I experience a need for peace, quiet and nature.

I am proud that despite everything, I have always held myself up, that I am a go-getter and that I am generally a positive thinker. I am also proud of my way of escaping, which I used for years by going to faraway places, because (I am discovering this now) it gave me a break from all the expectations, stress in daily life and not being able to attend to myself. In faraway places, I am in control, I am by the sea and no one thinks I am crazy, because I am already the odd tourist ;-) This has shown me the most beautiful places that I still dream about often. ⠀

I’m still on a journey of discovery. A tip to other people with autism is to stay true to yourself and to set your boundaries. I also try to mainly focus on the positive sides of ASD and to find the purest version of myself back. That’s really very relieving.

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